An initial close up shot of an undertaker on a mobile phone is shown as he says
''yeah its been a busy day, just got a few more pickups and ill be home mum''
the camera then gradually moves away from his face to reveal the pet shop which contains a dead pet shop owner half in a body bag and every animal in sight slaughtered
the undertaker is then shown walking down a street in daylight dragging body bag (spilling blood)
the camera then shoots to 2 children playing happily on a see saw
one of the children falls off but is barely phased
in one quick motion before the child is lassoed by the undertaker as he says
''you're dead too''
the camera then is drastically changed to an aerial shot which shows the street the undertaker is walking down, as well as the pet shop
in the same view, the pet shop becomes surrounded by police cars (as if first on a crime scene)
still in the same view the undertaker is heard to say
''be quiet, dead people don't talk'' to the boy he is also dragging
the scene gradually blackens off
this is my personal favourite.
Hi Elliot,
ReplyDeleteI think you're onto something here - the undertaker as the grim reaper, looking for reasons to 'collect' - I like the grimness of your ideas - but this one needs refinement; for instance, how about we show the undertaker walking down the street - he passes the window of a petshop in which we're shown lots of happy budgies and bunnies and puppys etc - he passes it, and then the camera cuts back to the window and we see that everything in the window is dead... that final shot too - the bird's eye view, could be very apocalyptic - a scene of devastation in the undertaker's wake; I'm reminded of the opening sequences of The Happening - which was a terrible movie, but not to start with... you need to resolve your 3 acts and I think the scene with the undertaker and the children on the seesaw could be more important; perhaps the identity of the undertaker remains a secret until the 3rd act; the audience just thinks it's a 'perv in a playground' story, until we realise that Death has come to collect the child (because, perhaps, the child is destined to die on the see-saw and the undertaker is early?). Yes I think this has bags of development potential - I look forward to working on it with you at the workshops.