As well as the staggered storyboard above, i'm just going to run through roughly what the story is, so now character and scene design can follow with tighter storyboarding.
1. a mid range shot of a standard, full pet shop is shown
2. as if from a puppys pov, an undertaker is shown looking in the pet shop
3. the scene carrys on, showing the undetaker walking down the street of the pet shop
4. two children are shown playing on a see saw (camera as if standing behind one of the two)
5. a shot of the sunny becoming overcast is shown
6. the same shot as 5. is shown, except this time, the undetaker is shown in the background
7. the camera zooms in to his feet, showing all grass and flowers beneath him are dead
8. the camera then cuts again to the previous pet shop, showing every animal and owner slumped and dead
9. the camera cuts right back to one of the two boys going up and down, with the undertaker slap bang next to him (as though he is invisible)
10. the child slumps off the see saw
11. the child and undertaker hand in hand, walk down the street, while the child looks back calmly
12. an areial shot of the area is shown, showing the other boy trying to wake his dead friend.
Interim Online Review 16/02/2010
ReplyDeleteHey Elly,
Okay - you've refined your idea right down - which is good, though I'd suggest that killing the pet-shop owner off is too much, as it takes the drama out of the death of the child; also, it knocks out some of what is subtle about your story; the truth is, your story IS subtle; remember, the grim reaper isn't evil; rather he is inevitable - a force of nature, like winter - so for me, even killing the puppy is too much;
see
http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/december/30/newsid_2547000/2547587.stm
There's a certain richness symbolically about using a bird in a cage (in a pet shop) to signal that death is near - I don't even think you need to kill all the birds; you show the guy looking in the window from inside the pet shop, and then, when you cut back later, one of the birds is lying with its feet in the air. Your audience will read this and I'd suggest too it's more ominous for being less 'apocalyptic'. Your story is 'a quiet story about a child's premature death' - likewise with the grass/flowers - it's good, but a little bit of symbolism will go a long way. I like the use of pathetic fallacy too (when the weather emulates or supports the mood of a character or story) - you can use this change to de-saturate the colour palette and enrich the atmosphere. Yes, I think this is a nuance, delicate story - with a big pay-off, when the audience realises what they just witness; hold it back to properly give it away.
You'll appreciate that one of the challenges of this brief is to produce compelling and striking pre-production art work that, if this was a longer project and you were pre-producing for an animated short, would convey the mood, production design, 'cinematography' of your proposed film. Be sure to give yourself enough time to finesse your style and polish your drawings and character designs. For the required conventions of presenting character designs see -
http://animation.about.com/od/otherusefultutorials/ss/charactersheet.htm
Please see the following 2 comments for guidance/advice re. your written assignment for unit 4; pay particular attention to the stuff about cultivating a more formal style for your written work.